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Funny Love Poems ✍ 33 The Most Beautiful Poetry

One of the best ways to say the three words is to say it in good humor. Find some of the best funny love poems here to confess your love in a cute and unconventional way.

For you only

Hey you know what?
My world is topsy turvy,
Since the time I am love with you
You do have a clue?
That I so love you honey poo,
My sweetie I love you!

Author

My One-Eyed Love

I've fallen in love- I don't know why
I've fallen in love with a girl with one eye.
I knew from the start. It was plain to see
That this wonderful girl had an eye out for me
She's charming and witty and jolly and jocular
Not what you'd expect from a girl who's monocular.
Of eyes - at the moment - she hasn't full quota
But that doesn't change things for me one iota.
It must be quite difficult if you're bereft.
If your left eye is gone and your right eye is left.
But she's made up her mind. She's made her decision.
She can see it quite clearly in 10/20 vision.
She'll not leave me waiting, not left in the lurch
If she looks slightly sideways she'll see me in church.
I'll marry my true love who's gentle and kind.
And thus prove to everyone that loves not quite blind.

Andrew Jefferson

Men

They do it without realizing,
They don't really have a clue,
Reading between the lines,
Is something they just can't do.
When there is an argument,
They think they're always right,
No matter what we say or do,
They didn't start the fight.
They blame it on our hormones,
And never take the rap,
If they call us moody bitches,
Then they get a slap.

Jessica Miles

A Night With My Lady

Her body glistens in the light
I urge to play with her all night
I pick her up and hold her steady
Take a deep breath, we both are ready.
I run one hand up her long neck
Just touching her makes me euphoric
Across her body, my right hand goes
I've been practicing, believe me, it shows.
Her body glistens in the light
I urge to play with her all night
I pick her up and hold her steady
Take a deep breath, we both are ready.
Another deep breath, the tension mounts
Have to stay focused, every moment counts
I am ready lets get movin'
Here it goes, we both start groovin'.
Her body glistens in the light
I urge to play with her all night
I pick her up and hold her steady
Take a deep breath, we both are ready.
I start out slow to get in the swing
As I do she starts to sing
The sounds and feelings grow more immense
The movements, become more intense.
Her body glistens in the light
I urge to play with her all night
I pick her up and hold her steady
Take a deep breath, we both are ready.
She screams and screams, while I am gropin'
My heart stops as I see the door open
My mom walks in and with a frown
Says, Your guitar is too loud, please turn it down.

Jared M. Stein

Puberty Love Poem

Last year I thought that you were icky as I ate my glue,
But this year I can see that I have greatly misjudged you.
Your retainer gleams with moonlight beams when you smile in my direction.
I can see through greasy hair that we have a connection.
My armpit hair is growing just as fast as our romance,
And now that I'm like 5 foot 5 I think I have a chance.
There's something about my love for you that others just don't get.
The things I like about you are as many as my zits.
I've not seen you for a while now and I hope you're doing well,
Because I think my armpits have a very lonely smell.
If I were left without you I would have a heart attack,
So let me serenade you with this song from Nickleback.
You want to play Diablo with me? I hope you won't mind.
I think you would be purple, you're a legendary find.
I want to see your visage more than any other faces,
'Cause like my Warcraft druid, you have charmed me with your graces.
You're beautiful, you're wonderful, you make my heart go boom,
Just like the can of Axe I unleashed upon this room.
I know that you will love me, and I know it will be neat,
Because my shampoo label says, "Rinse, attract, repeat."
Though I may be awkward, this poem may be weird,
And my good side may be tough to see through my patchy beard,
My mind is going crazy, but one thing is true:
My random hormones have paired me with you.

Mitch Jones

Loving an Xbox Vs Me

I don't have a controller,
And I don't have a screen,
I don't need to be plugged in,
I'm not grey and green.
I can't make sound effects,
Or visuals that are fantastic,
You can't put me on a shelf,
Because I'm not made of plastic.
However, I do have curves,
Will keep you entertained all the same,
You can't insert a disc,
But we can make our own little game.

Sarah Allen

***
Your beauty is so bright,
Your eyes shine like the twilight.
Your lips are so sweet,
To kiss them would be a treat.
I still can’t believe that you are my girl,
You are, by far, the best thing in my world.
Please know I’m not saying this because you are mad,
But if you feel like forgiving me, honey, I’d be so glad!

Author

***
Honey, if you’ll please recall,
The day we met I was not smooth at all,
So please give me another chance right now,
To hit on you again and make you say wow!
I need a map because I’m lost in your eyes,
I must have won a contest and you must be my prize!
Can I take a picture of you to show Santa what I want?
You look so delicious you must own a restaurant!
Look at you with all those curves and me with no brakes,
I’ve gotta ask do you want some fries with those shakes.
Roses are red and violets are blue,
Be my Cinderella, because the shoe fits you.
I must be dead, cuz I see an angel right now,
You’re so gorgeous you should take a bow.
Oops, I lost my phone number, could I have yours?
So you’re the reason for all of those wars!
Apart from being beautiful, what do you do for a living?
Would you like to be a queen, so I can be your king?
I was taught to pursue my dreams, so I’m gonna chase you, okay?
Your feet must hurt from running around in my mind all day.
I’m sorry I forgot all these pick-up lines when we first met,
But if you’ll recall that’s cuz of all my drool and sweat!

Author

***
Did you notice I remembered to put the seat down?
And that I washed all the dishes last night?
Were you aware of how attentive I was,
When you came home in such a fright?
You may have noticed, I’m doing so well,
Listening to all the things you request.
I’m adapting myself and becoming a better man,
I even massage you when you are stressed.
Remember the day I took the trash out,
And wiped down the counter so well?
If you’ll recall I made breakfast in bed,
I’m trying so hard, can’t you tell?
And just in case you hadn’t noticed,
This poem is especially for you.
And if you don’t like it, my darling angel,
Well, sorry, there’s just nothing I can do.

Author

***
How did you get to be such an amazing man?
Never have I seen someone who can do all you can.
I look at you and gasp in awe,
You are the best that I ever saw.
You are the perfect man for any woman,
You’re just so good at making me grin.
Everything you do is so perfect for me,
You are precisely my cup of tea.
Now I suppose I should give credit where credit is due,
And remind myself that I did a great job re-training you!

Author

***
I tried to write funny love poems for you,
I attempted as well some cute and silly ones too.
But it seems I haven’t yet learned how to rhyme,
So, I beg of you honey, please give me some time.
One of these days I will figure it out,
Until then I hope that you will not pout.
Trust me, my man, you really do inspire me,
I’m just not good with words, as you can plainly see.
It’s not that easy to come up with love poems, you know,
So for now I’ll just find another way for my love to show.

Author

Your Clumsy Valentine

You've seen me take a fall,
You've seen me make mistakes
I'm sure you've often said,
"This is all I can take!"
I am your clumsy Valentine
that much is true,
But as ungraceful as I am
I truly love you,
I'll never be president
or a romantic book cover,
But one thing you can bet on
I'm gonna love you forever!

Author

My Lips Are Full of Kisses

My lips are full of kisses
they pucker and plump when you are near,
This pair isn't happy until your lipstick we smear,
My lips are full of kisses
even now they move your way
for the promise of heaven is just a kiss away!

Author

Beauty and the Beast

You must hear the shock and awe
when we walk down the street
as people, loudly say,
"Why that's Beauty and the Beast!"
What a strange pair,
What a weird sight,
A lovely, bright flower
and a creature from the night,
I know you hear them
'cause I do, too,
I don't understand
how they can say that about you!

Author

My Little Star

When I wish upon a star
I do not have to look too far
'cause sitting right next to me
shining bright and true
is the loveliest star I ever knew,
It's true stars are gassy,
They tend to twinkle and fade
but my little star for eternity was made
I know your flaws,
You surely know mine
but like stars in the sky
our love will burn up the night!

Author

Your Love is Better

Your love is better than chocolate
or an intoxicating wine,
It's better than cinnamon
I have to make you mine!
Your love is better than caramel
or any liqueur filled truffle,
It's better than hazelnut,
Oh, I love you double!
Your love is better than lush berries
or a ripe, succulent peach,
It's better than sugar,
My heart's within your reach!
Your love is better than sangria
or a sweet, fizzy lemonade,
It's better than any nectar
for you, my heart was made!

Author

Wouldn't you rather

Wouldn't you rather be dead?
Maybe shoot yourself in the head?
Over my dead heart, I'd never want to be a zombie like you.
The sight of your limbs are rotten all the time.
All synonyms say of you looks like a 3 legged swine.
Go ahead and do us all a favor,
hide and stash yourself away from all your neighbor
I think I'd rather have my eyes stuck with glue
So I won't have to look at you
When it comes to family friends, you ain't got none.
You're always gonna be called the lonely retarded one.
Who could ever love a face like yours.
not even your mother see's pass your gores
No need for privacy when you pee
Go ahead and take a leak and drown yourself in the sea.
Don't think for one second you are irresistible
Love making with a zombie is impossible.
Wouldn't you rather be dead?
maybe shoot yourself in the head
The time to kill yourself is at hand.
Slicing your wrist is what we recommend
Cut your tongue off, don't want to hear you squeal
Blood all over, your face is no big deal
A sword or machete will only pick up the pace
I wanna see your guts pop out your mid-waist
Contaminated objects is a must
Anything to remove your face of disgust.
The easy part is the best
Once you are gone we will all feel blessed,
The flaw of your existence
Is what keeps us all in distance
Wouldn't you rather be dead?
maybe shoot yourself in the head
Close your eyes and die
No one wants to hear you cry
You said you wanted to be loved
believe me~ you're better off unloved
I say do yourself off
Anyways you've always had it rough…
Go ahead and scream
This is not a dream
Now see how you make me feel
All I want is for you to end your ugly ordeal.
I will praise this day of course
Knowing soon you'll be a rotting corpse.

Author

First Love

A man remembers his first love.
Until he finds his grave.
If he lives to be a hundred.
That's what he'll always crave.
For some it might be a blonde.
A red head or brunette.
Others are still looking.
They haven't found it yet.
For some it is those buns of steel.
We've all heard about.
Whatever a mans first love is.
He hates to go without.
There may be some who's first love.
Is in the color of her eyes.
I'll always remember my first love.
A greasy cheese burger and fries.
Make it a double patty.
With everything on top.
Ketchup, mustard, or special sauce.
Please don't ever stop.
Fries fried to a golden brown.
Thin and crispy too.
A greasy cheese burger with some fries.
No talking til I'm through.
So now you know my secret.
A greasy cheeseburger and fries.
If you want inside my heart.
Make mine super size.

Edwin C Hofert

I love to hate you

Just one look at you
Tempting me, teasing me, tormenting me
I hate the feelings you evoke
Greed
Desire
Lust
Just want to hold you, devour you
I don’t want to see you go
But I can never resist the last chocolate in the box!

JAN ALLISON

I Want Peace

I want a piece of chocolate cake
Oh and a delicious piece of cherry pie
I want a piece of that place called Fort Knox
With all those pieces I could afford a lot
I want a piece of that lady over there
In her haute couture she saunters with such flair
I want a piece of the clouds in the sky
I just want it, don't ask me why!
I want some tiny peace of mind
To have some pieces left to be kind
Then I can give you a piece of Art
A piece I promise comes straight from the heart

Arthur vaso

Love Me

Leave me alone you beautified 6itch ;
Oh ghastly and ghoulish playpen of a witch.
Vases of roses are covering your deeds;
Eloquent verses describe your sick needs
Many come calling but none ever leave;
Even my dumb heart now wants a reprieve.

Francis J Grasso

How You Love Me

How you love me
I'm grateful you know
Through the years
You show and show
With my moody side
You do let slide
And you still love
my growing backside
You've suffered through
my cooking pains
Look on the bright side
no weight you gained
You keep that smile
That brightens my world
You let me know
I'm stil your girl

Author

Guy Meets Girl

A guy meets a girl
and it's on from there
they embark on this journey
with cautious care
both trying to impress
the other it seems
blinders on
going full steam
things go good
from the start
because these two
were super smart
they didn't fall
for the superficial stuff
skipping over
the fake stupid fluff
instead they stumbled
onto something real
two smart souls
in a relationship with appeal
So guy meets girl
and things align
they fall in love
and all is devine

Author

Kiss Me Senseless

Kiss me senseless
Blow me away
Not tomorrow
But today
I need to know
if we have that spark
do we have potential
or is this a lark
If you don't
do it for me
I gotta move on
and find chemistry
with that one person
who can rock my world
and make me see stars
and give me my fill
of lovely days
and glorious nights
of magic moments
that feel just right
So kiss me senseless
I have to know
are you for real
or simply all show

Author

We are Imperfect for Each Other

You're not perfect
and neither am I
we both have flaws
we'd like to hide
But here's the good part
I'll have you know
We can be real together
and build something that grows
What we share
doesn't mirror love stories
Some of the stuff
is pretty gory
Like morning breath
In your face
Like farts out loud
stinky, hardly mild
But here we are
in our imperfect glory
forming our own
special love story
Two imperfect parts
it seems
perfect together
for all to see

Author

Our Love Is…..

Our love is
being together
even when we fight
Over some things so trivial
we're not always so bright
Our love is
saying we like something
But hurting each other
never, we won't
Our love is
forgiving each other
when we mess up
five, six, seven times
we forgive….Yup
Our love is
simply me and you
loving each other
as only we can do

Author

Love Is Contagious

Love is like a bad winter cold
It strikes at the young and the old
It’s not something for which they can inoculate
There is no cure for those who participate
So even if you feel like you have the flu
Love is just something you must go through

Author

My Love

If comeliness was a race
You’d win a medal
If sweetness was an event
You’d be on the podium
If loveliness was a sport
You’d win the gold
You are really terrific
My love for you is Olympic

Author

Another

Our first year of wedded bliss
Then a second year united
Another year notched up
Yet one more year in concert
Another year together
One more year in partnership
Another year with you
A year of dull and sunny weather
The ninth year still bonded
Another year together
One more year of companionship
Another year of just us two
A year of sad and happy days
Fourteen years now coupled
Another year together
One more year of friendship
Another year chalked up
A mixed year of good and bad
Nineteen years now joined
Another year together
One more year of togetherness
Another year on the sentence
A year of nag and nag and nag
Twenty four long bloody years
Another year together
What did I do to deserve this?
The punishment didn’t fit the crime
Not even the great train robbers
Had to serve this much time

Author

You know what

You know you are in love,
When things are upside down,
You know you are in love,
When there is some sound,
You know you are in love,
When you are all around,
Hey that is you my love,
I truly love you!

Author

My love is such

Ah, why I love you so much,
I also don't know,
You not being in my world,
Is surely a big blow,
Coz I love you so much my honey bunny,
That is the state of my emotion,
It's not funny,
Love you so much!

Author

Love is crisp

Your love is so crisp,
As the wafer in the pack,
You know your love is,
My only favorite snack,
Oh please was just kidding,
Now, you don't need to smack,
Lol..Love you so much!

Author

No reason for love

Love needs no certificate,
It's the degree on the whole,
You know what in my life,
What is your role?
Well, you are my life you know,
How do you want me to show?
I love you!

Author

More poems read here:

For Wife
For Him
For Her